As much as I enjoy discussions and debating with others, I believe the time has come for me to close my account here on newsvine. Although I am hesitant to do so. Never before have I ever been able to have deep discussions with my peers and others, except my wife, mostly due to the fact that I'm deaf and grew up in a hearing world.
Newsvine gave me a place to belong, to expand my knowledge, and to listen to new ideas without any misunderstanding or confusion, which is what I face in the world in daily life. There aren't many deaf people in the world, and the ones in my area don't really jive with me. So newsvine gave me an outlet and it was like a dam breaking where I could finally speak and hear others.
But now I find myself making more inane comments than ever, now I find myself obsessing over what anyone said and what I might have missed, I find myself checking every two minutes for new comments, I find myself trying to tear people down when I know myself not to be so vehement or so bitter. I find myself ignoring my life. My family.
I liked commenting when the subject turned to marijuana and I swore I would continue to fight for as long as the injustice of prohibition hung over us recreational users. I liked dropping little bombs of knowledge on unsuspecting victims and making them choke on their coffee. And the fight is far from over nationwide.
However, in my state recreational use of marijuana is now legal. I signed the petitions. I helped vote the law in. I fought for the cause in words here on newsvine.
I still find myself to be obsessed with getting the last word in, and lately getting the last word in involved a lot of pettiness and meaningless words. I'm growing tired with how this is taking over my life. Just today I spent over 5 hours commenting and replying and commenting, and 90% of it was unnecessary. It's gotten to the point where it's just unhealthy.
I know nobody out there cares, but I thought I'd explain myself a little before just dropping off the grid. I'm just getting too obsessed with this bullshit, and I can't keep it up anymore. So I'll be contemplating closing this account soon, and refrain from making more comments for a while. There's no more lost causes for me to fight for since I and others in my state won. My heart is heavy for the rest of the nation however. But I can no longer do this...I'm turning into a bitter person and it's not who I am.
Thanks for all the debates out there. I enjoyed them. Thanks for all the friendships, everyone. Thanks for bearing with the odd character that is joe420er. I'll see you guys around sometime...